Oprah
by Starborn73
Summary: Kagome gets tickets to the Oprah show.
1. Tickets

Hi yallz! This story is…well I'm sure you read the summary. I made this story like three years ago but I deleted it trying to fix a lot of errors and then I lost the files and it made me sad…so now I'm remaking like peanut butter, baby inuyashas and anime breakdown lol. Wow I lost a lot of my stuff back then… oh well. I think this story was probably funnier back then than it will be now but um I'll try as hard as I can I still remember a lot from it and I'll add it…o.O;; sorry I'm ranting ENJOY THE SHOW!!!

Chapter 1- Tickets

Kagome had just returned to the feudal era. She'd left because she wanted to make Inuyasha feel bad. Why did she want to make him feel bad? I have no idea.

Kagome: Hello everyone!

Shippo: Kagome's back!

Miroku: no thanks to Inuyasha…

Inuyasha: what was that Miroku…?

Miroku: you heard me dog ears. You should have gone to get her like we all suggested.

Inuyasha: Feh, she probably left just to make me feel bad. I didn't even do anything to her!

Kagome: Before you all get into a fight I have big news!

Sango: what is it Kagome?

Kagome: are you ready…I GOT US TICKETS TO THE OPRAH SHOW!!

Shippo: YAY!!! …what does that mean?

Kagome: it means we're all going to be on T.V! My friends will be so jealous!

Miroku: it will probably be embarrassing seeing that Inuyasha will be with us.

Kagome: now, now!

Kagome had to step between Inuyasha and Miroku to keep them from fighting.

Kagome: pack up guys we're leaving.

Inuyasha: but I don't wanna be on some dumb show…

Kagome: YOU'RE COMING!!!!

Inuyasha: o.O;; yes ma'am.

The gang packed up and went to go see this Oprah person. Inuyasha just knew he wasn't going to enjoy it; he didn't enjoy any of my stories cuz it always involved him being in a great load of distress. And he knew what he was in for…

* * *

Lol sorry this chapter is so short but…I need to break it down better than I did before so it won't mess up and get lost and all that stuff so…um more soon and buh bye:D 


	2. Oprah

o.O here's the next chappy!

Chapter 2- Oprah

Inuyasha: OW!!!

Kagome: well hurry up!

Inuyasha: why can't you go without me…I mean I'm probably only going to ruin things for everyone anyway…

Kagome: You're coming Inuyasha and there's nothing you can do or say to change my mind.

Inuyasha: I'll…I'll let you say sit for a whole hour straight!

Kagome: tempting…but I can do that anyway.

Inuyasha: I'll…take you to the circus!

Kagome: You know I'm allergic to clowns!

Inuyasha: Um okay, I'll…sing romantic songs to you!

Kagome: hmm…will you mean it?

Inuyasha: of course not!

Kagome: you're coming!

Inuyasha: okay okay wait! I'll never see Kikyo again!

Kagome: …ooo you got me there…for how long?

Inuyasha: a few hours maybe?

Kagome: You're not even trying Inuyasha!

Shippo: Give it up Inuyasha.

Inuyasha: (sulk)

Kagome continued to drag Inuyasha along. They were almost there.

Miroku: so what's this Oprah person like anyway?

Sango: (glare)

Kagome: oh she's wonderful! She helps people and is really nice and gives away free stuff. I love her show.

Miroku: hmm, she sounds interesting… o.O;; what Sango?

Sango: (through gritted teeth) oh nothing…

Kagome: she's hilarious too.

Inuyasha: in other words she's everything you're not?

**(WHAM!)**

Kagome: Don't worry you'll enjoy the show. (rubs hand)

Meanwhile…

Oprah: Hello everybody we are back and we have two special guests coming on today um Goten and Trunks, to perform a fusion for us. Isn't that something?

Audience: (cheers)

Oprah: without further ado, here they are!

Everyone watched Goten and Trunks do that weird dance number then fuse to make Gotenks. The crowd went wild! It was the greatest thing since sliced bread!

Meanwhile…

Kagome: WHADDYA MEAN WE CAN'T GO IN!!

Security: I'm sorry miss but you're late, the show has already started.

Kagome: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT INUYASHA!

Inuyasha: but I had to go…

Kagome: I TOLD YOU TO GO BEFORE WE LEFT!!

Inuyasha: see I told you to just leave me behind; I'm already ruining things for you!

Kagome: (volcano in the background)

Miroku: um Kagome, come with me…

Miroku led Kagome away before she could do anything drastic or violent. Fortunately, Miroku led her back stage despite being unaware of it.

Miroku: maybe we can wait till the show is over and get a refund or something.

Kagome: OR MAYBE I CAN SHOVE THESE TICKETS RIGHT UP YOUR A-

Sango: hey look a door!

Shippo: and it's unguarded. Maybe we can get in through here.

Kagome calmed down.

Kagome: o.O;; You're right! We can!

Inuyasha: isn't this illegal?

Kagome grabbed him by the collar and threw him in. They were immediately lost, it was dark and there was stuff all over the place! Suddenly, the lights came on.

Oprah: AHHHHH!!!

Inu and the Gang: AAAAHHHHH!!!

Oprah: who are you!?

Kagome: oh my gosh! It's Oprah! I'm a big fan Oprah and I got tickets and I brought me and my friends here to see it but the guard wouldn't let us in!

Inuyasha: so we illegally came in through the back door.

**(Wham!)**

Inuyasha: OW! (swirly eyes)

Kagome: he's just mad cuz he made us late.

Oprah: uh huh…well I'm sorry that your friend here made you late. You can go find your se-

Koga: o.O Kagome!?!

Kagome: Koga?!?!?! What are you doing here?

Koga: are you kiddin!? I love this show!

Naraku: Ku ku ku! I, Naraku, have come to see Oprah! …what the…What are you guys doing here?

Everyone: what are YOU doing here?

Naraku: who doesn't watch Oprah?

Sesshomaru: o.O; Inuyasha? Naraku? Koga!?!

Everyone: Sesshomaru!?!?!

Inuyasha: don't tell me YOU watch this show too!

Sesshomaru: uhh…uhhh…I'm only here cuz…(glances around) cuz Rin brought me here.

Rin: hello everyone!

Kikyo: Then I'm going to get an autograph and rub it in Kagome's face!! HHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!

Kagome: whhatt….

Kikyo: o.O;;

Kagome: why are YOU here!

Kikyo: why are YOU here!!

Inuyasha: hey be nice!

Koga: you can have Kikyo I'll take Kagome!

Inuyasha: no you won't!

Kikyo: well why not Inuyasha!

Miroku: (hand wanders)

Sango: HEY!! **(SLAP!!)**

Naraku: Ku ku ku!!

Oprah: (sweatdrop)

Sesshomaru: (takes out sword) where's that dumb badger!

Shippo: I'M A FOX!!!

Soon everyone started arguing and fighting leaving Oprah to watch confusedly. Then she had a thought.

Oprah: EVERYONE QUIET!!!

Everyone froze.

Oprah: how would you all like to be IN my show instead of watching it?

Everyone except Inuyasha: REALLY!?!

Oprah: I think you would all help to make the ratings go up even higher! Congratulations, you are all going to be stars!

Sesshomaru: YAY! MY LIFE'S DREAM HAS COME TRUE!!!

Everyone: (stare)

Sesshomaru: …Heh…just kidding…(takes out sword) you want a piece of me!

Oprah: um anyways you'll all have a chance to come out onto the stage. Uh oh, its almost time for me to get back on so um, you all get comfortable and I'll be right back.

Oprah left. Everyone was excited! They were going to be on the Oprah show! Kagome hoped that her friends back home were watching. She danced around like there was no tomorrow.

Meanwhile…

Oprah: Well folks it looks like there's going to be a little twist.

Audience: (gasp)

Oprah: that's right, instead of having the Olsen twins and their new father Dracula, we're bringing out Inuyasha, friends and foes! I think things will get a little heated on the stage so be prepared for anything!

Audience: (cheers)

Random Chick: I LOVE YOU OPRAH!!!

Oprah: heh, we'll be back after these messages!

* * *

o.O; lol weee I'm so happy to be doing this again. It's all coming back to me…well not all of it but some of it. I had to add and change some things though but whatever. Hope you enjoyed this chappy! More soon buh bye:D 


	3. Welcome To The Oprah Show!

o.O.O.o here's the nexter chappy. Oh um just for the record if the words in italicized than it's either the characters thoughts or a word that's supposed to be emphasized sarcastically.

Chapter 3- Welcome to The Oprah Show!

Messages: Have you ever gone outside when it was raining? Wish you had something to stop all the rain from getting you wet just before that important meeting? Well Umbrella Import and Exports Emporium has the solution for you! Our umbrellas are top notch and we take great pride in delivering them to you in person. You'll have the protection you've wanted. All you have to do is call the number on your screen! Ha ha ha! Or else…

Oprah: And we're back! Now it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for! Please everyone put your hands together foooorrrr the Inuyasha Cast!

Audience: (cheers)

They all came walking out. Everyone except Inuyasha waved and smiled at the audience. They all took their seats.

Oprah: well first I'm sure the audience would like to get to know you guys. So why don't you tell everyone a little about yourselves.

Kagome shot up instantly.

Kagome: my name is Kagome Higurashi and I'm fifteen years old! I was having a perfectly normal life until I fell down the well and landed in feudal Japan. There I met Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango and Shippo.

Koga: what about me?

Kagome: …oh yea and Koga.

Koga: (smile)

Kagome: I'm really nice and I like to help people. Whenever somebody was being attacked by a demon I always helped them!

Inuyasha: what are you talking about? _I_ was always the one to help them, you all just stood around and watched.

Miroku: we helped! Sometimes…

Sango: Yea, and besides you're the strongest one in the group Inuyasha.

Inuyasha: Feh.

Oprah: you fight demons?

Kagome: yup, Inuyasha is a demon and so is Shippo over there. And Kirara, Koga, Sesshomaru and Naraku.

Oprah: did you hear that audience? We have demons on board!

Audience: (goes wild)

Oprah: anyway continue.

Kagome: We're trying to stop Naraku from taking over the world because he's really evil and everybody hates him!

Naraku: Ku ku ku! You're all just jealous of my power!

Koga: put a sock in it you lint licker.

Naraku: (raises eyebrow)

Kagome: on the way we ran into Koga and we became friends. We're both after Naraku.

Inuyasha: I ain't his friend…

Koga: yea right back at ya dog breath.

Oprah: okay how about you?

Miroku: who me?

Oprah: yes you.

Miroku stood up.

Miroku: before I start, any of ladies in the audience care to bare my children?

Audience: O.O;;;;

Sango: control yourself monk…

Sango hit Miroku with her boomerang.

Oprah: is he always like that?

Sango: that and much worse Oprah…

Oprah: ah…

Miroku: (rubbing his head) um anyway I am a monk. And I'm after Naraku because he gave me this wind tunnel.

Naraku: Ku ku ku! I, Naraku, am the ultimate evil!

Miroku: …anyway I know that I only have a certain amount of time to live (sniff) so I want children so they can break the curse and continue the family line…(sniff)

Audience: Awwwww…

Oprah: oh you poor thing. Here have a tissue.

Miroku: thank you Oprah. (blows his nose)

Oprah: how about you young man?

Shippo: well, I'm a fox demon and I like using my fox magic to play tricks on Inuyasha! Like that one time that weird old demon hunting lady taught me how to turn invisible. Hah you should have seen the look on Inuyasha's face!

Inuyasha: You weren't invisible Shippo I saw you the whole time.

Shippo: really?! I thought it was your dog senses (cry)

Kagome: (gasp) Inuyasha you made Shippo cry! SIT!!

Inuyasha: AAAAA (face plant)

Oprah: O.O What'd you do to him!?!

Sango: Kaede put prayer beads on Inuyasha so that Kagome could control him. All she has to do is say sit and he's in the ground.

Oprah: hmm I need to get me one of those… uh anyways why don't you tell us about yourself sir.

Koga: I'd love to! I'm the leader of my wolf demon tribe. I'm the leader cuz I'm totally awesome. I'm the fastest, strongest, smartest, sexiest demon in existence!

Sesshomaru: (raises eyebrow) _Oh no you ain't…_

Koga: This is my woman Kagome! We were destined to be together forever! (grabs Kagome's hand)

Inuyasha: back off you mangy wolf or I'll have to rearrange your face!

Koga: I'd like to see you try dog breath!

Inuyasha took out his sword and jumped at Koga. Koga jumped away just in time. Everyone watched with great pity. Those two were so dumb…

Oprah: moving on…how about you miss?

Kikyo: Well…there's not much to say about me…

Kagome: pfft of course not you're Kikyo…

Kikyo: you wanna start something bi-

Oprah: okay! Before you two start fighting…um how about you young lady?

Rin: Hi everyone!! (wave)

Audience: Awwwwwwww!!!

Rin: My name is Rin and Sesshomaru-sama saved me from a pack of wolves. He lets me follow him around and he protects me!

Audience: Awwwwww! What a loving father.

Sesshomaru: (flinch) she's not my daughter!

Rin: (hugs Sesshy)

Audience: Awwwwwww!!!!

Sesshomaru just sighed.

Oprah: you two seem to be acquainted. Tell us about yourself.

Sesshomaru: I hate Inuyasha, I want his sword, and I want him dead… and this is Jaken my faithful henchman.

Jaken: hello!

Audience: Ewwwwww…..

Jaken: (sulk)

Oprah: now now be nice everyone. Tell us what you're like Jaken.

Jaken: I've served Lord Sesshomaru for as long as I can remember. I used to have many servants of my own and they treated me like a king. Then Lord Sesshomaru saved me from a demon, so I pledged myself to his service.

Random Chick: Why do you let that icky thing follow you around!?

Other Random Chick: I know he totally ruins your image!

Jaken: you watch your mouth foolish human!!

Other Random Chick: Bring it on you ugly toad!

Oprah: Please everyone take it easy. And you two need to stop fighting or I'm calling security…

Inuyasha: fine…

Koga: fine…

Oprah: Now you miss.

Sango: I'm Sango! I'm a demon slayer from a demon slayer's village. My brother was corrupted by Naraku and now I'm trying to save him. It's really hard though because Naraku has turned him against me…

Oprah: you really are evil aren't you!

Naraku: Yes, for I, Naraku, am the ultimate d-

Oprah: yea yea you're the ultimate demon.

Sango: this is Kirara! She's my little demon kitty.

Kirara: meow!

Audience: Awwwwww!!!!

Oprah: how about you?

Inuyasha: …I don't wanna say anything…

Oprah: say something…

Inuyasha: something…

Oprah: you know what I mean…(glare)

Inuyasha: okay okay! I hate Sesshomaru I hate Koga I hate Naraku I don't want to be here right now, Kagome is mean.

Oprah: Well now for Mr. Evil. Tell us abo-

Naraku: KU KU KU!! I, Naraku, am Naraku and I am the ultimate evil demon of all time for I, Naraku, have created many incarnations for I, Naraku, am made up of numerous demons who will do my bidding for I, Naraku, can and will bring my incarnations here right now, for I, Naraku, am totally awesome! Ku ku ku…

Oprah: wow you're annoying…

Naraku kept ranting on for awhile. Eventually Kagura and Kanna came, and for some reason Kaede did too.

Koga: Kagura!! (growl)

Kagura: hello wolfy boy.

Naraku: Ku ku ku…audience! Welcome Kanna and Kagura!

Audience: (cheers)

Oprah: have a seat please.

Kagura: Oh my god its Oprah!

Kanna: …

Oprah: hello, um we're introducing ourselves care to tell us anything about you?

Kagura: well, I am Kagura the wind sorceress and I'm tired of running errands for Naraku. I want to be free!!! But Naraku holds my heart…

Oprah: aww you're in love?

Inuyasha Cast: (gag)

Kagura: you've got to be crazy! I would never love Naraku…nobody would…I meant he literally holds my beating heart in his hands…and it hurts when he squeezes it…

Oprah: um, ew…who is this?

Kanna: …

Oprah: what's your name?

Kanna: …

Oprah: does she talk?

Kagura: just ignore her…

Kaede: where am I? Who are you people?

Inuyasha: Kaede we told you to stay in your hut.

Kaede: I'm sorry Inuyasha, I just get so lonely…

Oprah: who is this?

Kaede: I am Kaede, Kikyo's younger sister.

The audience looked at Kaede, then at Kikyo, then back at Kaede, then at Kikyo again. Some people felt sorry for Kaede and thought she was delusional or on the pipe or something.

Oprah: I don't mean to burst your bubble but…why is it that you LOOK much much older than her.

Kikyo: oh you didn't know? I'm dead.

Audience: WE SEE DEAD PEOPLE!!!

Kikyo: gr…

Kaede: she died when I was still al little girl…

Oprah: but she's still here…

Kikyo: some creepy witch brought me back using clay and witchcraft…

Oprah: uh huh…well now you've met them. Later we're going to try to better understand each of their pasts and any other story they wish to tell us. We'll be back after these messages!

* * *

Weee I've decided how I'm going to do this. I'm going to bring everyone out like I did the last time I did this but if anyone wants to make suggestions on who should come out and what should like Miroku and Sango in a session or Sesshomaru and Inuyasha or something go ahead. You can even bring in characters who weren't introduced o.O; anywho hope you enjoyed this chappy more soon buh bye :D 

Oh and Geez people could you review a bit more, every author likes to know if he/she is doing a good job especially me…nobody reviews anymore I feel like I'm doing this for nothing or like my stories are boring… :P lol geez THE ENTIRE INUYASHA CAST WANTS ALL OF YOU PEOPLEs TO REVIEW MORE IT DOESN"T TAKE THAT LONG!!! Thank you for your time :)

P.s. TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!!


	4. Inuyasha Gang

Enjoy this next chappy! Oh um and I'm aware of how to do the swirly eyes but fanfiction won't let me use the at sigh so…yea…enjoy! Oh and one more thing, you all have to picture most of this stuff happening for extra funny k:D Enjoy!!

Chapter 4- Inuyasha Gang

Messages: Has there been a death in your family? Was he or she really fun and so totally awesome that you wish he or she could still be here? Well, Souls R Us is having a sale on our new product that allows anyone to bring back their loved ones in the blink of an eye. Our patented clay and witchcraft kit is just what you're looking for! Call the number on the screen to order now!

Oprah: And we're back! Before the break you met the Inuyasha cast…now we're going to bring them all out again but in different sessions. Please welcome to the stage: Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Shippo and Kirara!

Audience: (goes wild)

Everyone but Inuyasha waved and smiled at the audience again.

Oprah: okay I'm dying to know your story. Please tell us everything.

Kagome shot up again.

Kagome: well it all started when I fell down the well and landed in the feudal era. I was walking to the Sacred Tree and that's when I saw Inuyasha for the first time.

Inuyasha: wait a minute! That was you!

Kagome: what?

Inuyasha: you were messing with my ears while I was asleep! I knew it wasn't a dream!

Kagome: I couldn't resist they're so cute!

Audience: Awwwww!

Inuyasha: (grumble)

Kagome: then villagers came and took me away. That's when I met Kaede. She told me a bunch of weird stuff about me being like Kikyo but I'm nothing like that bi-

Oprah: Really! So are you two like sisters or something?

Kagome: no I'm her reincarnation or something…I forgot…

Inuyasha: (sigh)

Kagome: Inuyasha saved me from a giant centipede demon that took the sacred jewel shard away. But then he tried to kill me!

Oprah: o.O; He tried to kill you? Why are you friends with him!?

Shippo: they're not just FRIENDS there's something more going on between them Oprah…

Oprah: really now?

Inuyasha punched Shippo across the stage and got all hot.

Inuyasha: THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON YOU LITTLE PEST!!

Kagome: HEY!! BE NICE TO SHIPPO!

Inuyasha: HE STARTED IT!!

Kagome: DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT!

Inuyasha: …

Kagome: that's better.

Inuyasha: you see how she threatens me Oprah. My life was going perfectly well until she showed up…

Oprah: heh…if you hate her so much why don't you just leave.

Kagome: I'm getting to that part in the story! So! He tried to kill me but then Kaede put prayer beads on him so I could control him. Now all I have to say is sit…-

Inuyasha: AAHHH!! (face plant)

Kagome: heh oops…and he does that!

Oprah: do you think Kaede could give me some of those…

Kaede: (shouts from backstage) maybe after the show Oprah!

Oprah: (rubs hands together) Muhahahahahahaha…um anyway continue the story!

Kagome: then a three eyed crow came and took the sacred jewel shard away and when I shot at it with my bow and arrow it broke it into a trillion pieces!

Oprah: o.O; a trillion pieces!?

Miroku: not really that many…

Oprah: ah…

Kagome: I felt bad cuz Inuyasha wanted to use the jewel's power to become a full fledged demon so I'm only staying to help him get all the pieces.

Inuyasha: see Oprah, that's all she is to me a jewel detector.

Oprah: isn't that a bit harsh?

Inuyasha: the way she treats me is harsh! You should see her drunk!

Oprah: WHAT??

Audience: O.O!!!

Inuyasha: Miroku, remember when your drunk little monk friend was dying. And he made us do all that cleaning and then he told us that he wasn't REALLY dying.

Miroku: oh yea…he asked us to go get some sake from that mountain.

Sango: …I don't remember that…

Inuyasha: that's because you were so drunk that you were flirting me! (shudders)

Sango: o.O;;

Oprah: where are you going with all this?

Inuyasha: there was this mist that appeared and made everybody drunk…except me and Miroku. Kagome, Hachi and Shippo started singing loudly and then out of nowhere Kagome starts saying sit like there was no tomorrow! I could barely breathe my face was so far in the ground!

Kagome: hmm I don't remember that…

Inuyasha: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU WERE DRUNK!!! I'm never going back to that mountain again…

Oprah: hmm…I think I need to vacation there…

Kagome: what was that?

Oprah: nothing! Continue your story.

Inuyasha: and that other time you told me to sit a lot! It hurt twice as much cuz she said it like 12 times before I actually fell! And I was holding a giant bolder over my head!

Shippo: that was the greatest thing I've ever seen! You shoulda been there Oprah!

Oprah: maybe you could reenact it for the audience and the viewers at home.

Inuyasha: NO WAY!!

Kagome: we'd love to!

Inuyasha: O.O WHAT NO!!!

Oprah: anyone got a giant boulder?

Random Chick: I DO! I LOVE YOU OPRAH!!

Shippo: what is she doing with a giant boulder…?

Sango: and how is she able to hold it up so easily like that…?

Miroku: ooo she's strong and attractive!

Sango told the random chick to throw the boulder at Miroku for her…so she did. Everyone went "Oooo…" and watched Miroku twitch in pain.

Sango: here Inuyasha.

Inuyasha: what makes you think I'm going to pick that up…

Kagome: do it or I'm going to put a leash on you, make you wear a pink bunny suit, and film you dance around Sesshomaru singing Barbie Girl!

Inuyasha had a giant stream of tears falling down his face as he lifted the boulder.

Inuyasha: I hope you have insurance Oprah cuz this is going to mess up your stage badly…

Kagome said sit a bunch of times and everyone watched as Inuyasha fell then screamed loudly when the boulder fell on him…hehe so hilarious.

Inuyasha: nO dogS wEre hARmeD in tHe maKIng Of THis sCEnE…! (passout)

Kagome: …um…

Everyone stared laughing…which is sorta mean but lolz! Kagome said sit one too many times. Security came and took Inuyasha backstage.

Oprah: have a nice trip! Hahaha!

Audience: Hahahaha

Random Chick: HAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS SO FUNNY OPRAH HAHAHAH!! I LOVE YOU OPRAH!!!

Oprah: …um…thank you for the boulder.

Random Chick: NO PROBLEM OPRAH! HEY DO YOU WANT MY PHONE NUMBER?!

Oprah: no…so um how did you meet Miroku here?

Kagome: well…it really shouldn't have happened…really…

Oprah: why is that?

Kagome: he had the nerve to stroke my hind quarters!!

Miroku: Oh I remember that… (grin, chuckle)

Sango: what!? (volcano in background)

Miroku: it's not what you think Sango, Kagome had flown in the direct path of my wind tunnel so I had to close it. She landed on me and knocked me out for a little…when I woke up my hand was…wandering…

Sango: (flames) YOU NEVER EVEN TOLD ME!!!

Miroku: I didn't think you'd care! You know how I am!

Shippo: it's no surprise…

Miroku: please forgive me Sango!!! O.O;;;

But it was too late. Sango was already thrashing Miroku. She punched him across the stage then threw her chair at him.

Oprah: and you guys are all friends?

Shippo: yup. It's strange I know…when we're not fighting demons we're fighting each other.

Oprah: Incredible!

Kagome: I'm worried about Inuyasha…I think I sat him too hard! (runs back stage)

Oprah: wait aren't you going to tell us how you met Sango?

It was too late, Kagome had already disappeared backstage. Shippo decided to follow her while Sango threw Miroku around. Miroku ended up flying backstage. Everyone stared at the only one left.

Kirara: meow… -.-

Oprah: you said it…we'll be back after these messages.

* * *

Wow heh…this chapter didn't go the way I wanted it to…I tried to remember everything but it all just went away…maybe I should have written it all yesterday. Lol oh well, the one part I remember the most is the Naraku part. It'll prob be the funniest. Hope you enjoyed this chappy. Review! See you later:D 

Oh and uh I just thought of this! The chappy with Sesshy is coming soon and I was wondering if anyone wanted Sessh to give a shout out to anyone? Lol just say so... k bye!!


	5. Man Wearing A Skirt

Aqui es este capitulo! Lol I think I said that right… Enjoy Koga's Session!

Chapter 5- Man Wearing A Skirt

Messages: Do you have the One Ring To Rule Them All? Is Smeagal trying to steal it and toss it into Mount Doom again? Wish that pest would just stay away and leave your merchandise alone? Now might be the time to buy volcano insurance. Krakatoa Inc. sympathizes. Our volcano insurance is the best insurance for any volcano situation…Krakatoa Inc. covers all damages to your one ring to rule them all so if Smeagal manages to get it and fall into a volcano, you'll be covered. Call this toll free number now!

Oprah: And we're back after that gruesome brouhaha with the Inuyasha Gang. Now I'd like you all to give a warm welcome to, Koga!!

Audience: …

Koga came running out really fast. He did a bunch of tricks and other stuff to show off his speed.

Oprah: Please sit down.

Koga kept flipping and showing off.

Oprah: I said SIT DOWN…

Koga sat.

Oprah: so…you must be the infamous Koga.

Koga: I wouldn't say infamous…but yes, I am Koga! Leader of the wolf demon tribe and owner of two sacred jewel shards! I rock!

Oprah: of course you do… so um why don't you tell us your story…not that anyone cares…

Koga: what was that?

Oprah: I said why don't you tell us your story. :D

Koga: well you all know I'm the leader of the wolf demon tribe! And that I totally rock!

Audience: …right…

Koga: I'm completely superior to Inuyasha and any other demon around. That's why I'm going to be the one to destroy Naraku!

Oprah: why are you trying to kill Naraku?

Koga: Well, it all started when the neighboring tribe went to find sacred jewels at his castle. They were all slaughtered when they got there by Kagura. But a few of them came back and gave me a shard…I thought they were alive but Kagura was using her dance of the dead. I decided to go check this place out. When I got there dog breath was covered in my comrade's blood so I went after him. Th-

Oprah: woah woah woah wait…who's dog breath?

Koga: Inuytrasha or whatever his name is…

Oprah: you two must hate each other a lot…

Koga: I'm not done with my story yet!

Oprah: -.- (grumble) continue…

Koga: so I started fighting him but he was a coward and kept running away and dodging my attacks. After awhile he finally decided to fight me, so I punched a hole in his stomach!

Audience: Ewwww….

Oprah: o.O;; a bit much don't you think?

Koga: nah he lived…unfortunately…

Oprah: weird…continue…

Koga: Then the shard that my comrades gave me released a bunch of poison and paralyzed me!

Audience: (cheers to themselves)

Koga: Kagura thought she could easily kill me but she was wrong! Pfft, not that I needed his help or nothing, dog breath fought Kagura off. Then my brave Kagome saved me from the poisonous shard.

Inuyasha: SHE AIN'T YOUR WOMAN!!

Inuyasha had apparently woken up and was shouting from backstage. Kagome, Miroku, Sango and Shippo had to hold him back from attacking.

Koga: can it dog breath I'm telling a story!

Audience: booooooooooooo!!!!!

Koga: o.O; What?! Don't boo me!

Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Soon everyone backstage was booing too.

Inuyasha: GET OFF THE STAGE BOOOOO!!!!! Nobody cares about your dumb story!!

Oprah: now now…I know he's annoying but let him continue…

Koga: (pout)

Oprah: go on…continue telling your story.

Koga: you're all just jealous of my obvious greatness! But I shall grace you with my story once again you ungrateful mongrels.

The audience gave Koga one big mean evil eye.

Koga: (sweatdrop) anyways…after that I kept an eye on Kagome. I wanted to make sure she was safe since dog breath isn't strong enough to protect her. When Naraku unleashed Juuromaru and Kageromaru, he almost let her get killed! But thanks to me she's still alive! And that little rat on her shoulder.

Shippo: I'M A FOX!!!

Now everyone was holding Shippo back.

Oprah: you really care about her don't you?

Koga: Yea. She means the world to me and it breaks my heart knowing that Inuyasha is endangering her everyday. She's the nicest, prettiest girl I've ever met and she's three million times better than any demon girl could ever offer me.

Audience: Awww…

Kagome: (blush)

Inuyasha: hmm? Ar-Are you smiling!?!?! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SMILING! I KNEW IT YOU DO LIKE HIM DON'T YOU!

Koga: don't you yell at my woman like that you sorry excuse for a half dog!

Inuyasha was in flames now. He was really sick of Koga…really, really, really sick of him. He managed to break away from everyone holding him back and ran at Koga. Koga charged at him. Oprah made sure the cameras were on. Then suddenly…

Kagome: SIT!!!

Right before Inuyasha could swing Kagome made him face plant into the ground. Koga ended up stepping on his head, losing his balance and falling on him.

Oprah: this is so going on youtube!

Inuyasha: ….WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SIDE WITH HIM!!!!! (cry)

Miroku: is…is he crying? Is he actually crying!?

Oprah: oh Kagome…you made him cry!

Audience: Awwwww….

Sesshomaru: o.O;;; You really are an embarrassment to the family.

Inuyasha pushed Koga off of him and ran to hide in the backstage closet. Koga brushed himself off then went to sit in his seat again.

Oprah: …does he usually cry?

Koga: he probably does…stupid wussy dog breath…

Oprah: hmm…I feel sorry for him…

Koga: I don't see why.

Oprah saw that the camera man was motioning for her to continue the show. She knew she couldn't let one minor setback ruin it.

Oprah: but you know…the show must go on! o.O uh Koga…

Koga: what?

Oprah: is that a skirt you're wearing?

Koga: …it's not a skirt!

Oprah: it looks like a skirt to me…in fact it looks like a short skirt! You're a man wearing a short skirt?

Koga: it's not a skirt!!

Oprah: I don't know…what do you think audience?

Audience: yep that's definitely a skirt.

Koga: it's not!! It's not a skirt!!!!!

Oprah: then what is it?

Koga: um…it's the standard wolf demon uniform!

Oprah: you make all your little comrades wear short skirts?

Koga: STANDARD WOLF DEMON UNIFORM!

Oprah: I don't care what you call it, it's still a skirt…

Audience: Koga's wearing a skiiirrrttt!! (taunt, torment)

Koga: I don't have to listen to this!

Koga stormed off the stage. He stuck his tongue out at the audience.

Oprah: heh…we'll be back after these messages folks! Don't touch that dial!

Random Chick: DON'T WORRY OPRAH I WON'T CUZ I LOVE YOU OPRAH AND YOUR SHOW!!!!

Oprah: commercial please!!!

-

Lolz wee…I wanna do the next chappy but…I think I'll wait till some other day so uh…hope you enjoyed this chappy OH AND I'M STILL LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT SESSHY TO GIVE A S HOUT OUT!! You can even put your brother or your friend in or something…or make up random names…that's all I sorta need lol more soon buh bye:D


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